kindacatchy | Post IW shenanigans

Smart? Yeah, it's a thing.

[The suit vibrates under Tony's hand as Bruce tries to get it to move. The most he gets is one foot twitching.]

It all happened so fast I'm not even sure what this looks like from the outside. "Stuck in the rock" is what they told me.

[He's calm though. Look at how calm he is. Actually, he could freak out and Hulk would just stay put, right? Maybe he should give that a try; it would be cathartic.]

Too bad it doesn't really show right now.

[He's watching the suit move, but the wall clutches it tightly. At some parts it almost look like it's morphed with the stone. Damn wizards.]

That's exactly how it looks. You're one of the stone now, the stone is you. Do you want to accept it as your rock and savior? [He talks, but he's climbing up as much he could to gather some idea just what had happened here and if Bruce is in any danger.]

Trust me, I'm giving you my smart face right now.

[Yeah, funny thing about having someone use a bunch of infinity stones in your face...]

Pretty sure if I were one with the stone the other guy would come off strike at least long enough to get our ass out of it. It's a funny world where he's the pacifist and I'm kicking ass.

[A beat.]

Was kicking ass. It was kind of cool.

Then we're all doomed, doctor.

I told you and you didn't believe me. Gosh, I wish I could have seen it... [Tony looks up at Bruce at the confession, smiling a little. He really wished he was there. Maybe even fighting side by side. But no, he had... other things to do.] It's strange to think the green guy benched himself, though.

[He kicks the armor, but it doesn't budge. Even if a stone wall, it's solid as a rock. Ha. Ha.] Alright, have you tried the emergency catapult?

[He manages not to say, "No, just half of us," and congratulates himself for keeping a Hulk-sized foot out of his mouth.]

I wish you could have seen it too, but you look like you've got your own stories to tell when I--

Emergency catapult?

[Yes, he had some input in this thing's design, but...]

It's been a long couple of years, Tony.

[Mentioning the emergency catapult has the suit's systems flashing at him while they come online, waiting for him to give the order.]

[Fuck his stories, Tony wonders to himself, he doesn't want to tell them, not this one. It was enough to go through it. So he just takes a slow, deep breath and grins up at Bruce.]

Emergency catapult. [He repeats, with a nod.] This guy can't be saved, but you may get a chance. [Even the Hulkbuster is busted by Thanos, what is this if not the saddest reminder of the battle?]

The longest indeed. Now hit it, cowboy. [And with that Tony moves a bit away.]

[Yeah, there's a lot of that going around but literally half the stories in the universe can no longer be told by the people who should tell them.]

I'm not liking the catapult part of this emergency catapult.

[He's scanning the HUD and relieved to see that there are safeguards and he isn't just going to be catapulted twenty feet in the air and left to fall without backup.]

I have some design feedback for the next iteration...

[He triggers the catapult and the helmet and shoulders grind open before a combination of the suit and a repulsor harness throw him up out of the suit to drift down toward the ground. Before his feet get anywhere near the ground he's yanking up his pants leg to finally get at an itch on his ankle that's been low key driving him nuts.]

It's the best part, Banner, come on.

[Tony crosses his arms and focuses on the suit and if it's doing what it should. He's already pulling up plans on how to smash the rock, but that would leave Bruce exposed to... the debris. Probably. So it is a relief the emergency protocol works. Tony is very proud of himself. Only not really.]

Very nice, ten outta ten. [He walks back, showing two thumbs up as if this was a damn game show.] I'm listening, except if it's another safeguard protocol. Those goes for Pet-- [NO. ABORT. Tony wipes his hands on his pants for some reason.] I mean, I'm listening.

Thanks. [Dry, but he's still damn glad to see that Tony didn't go the way of so many people. He'd had to watch, helpless in his Hulk-sized prison, and that was just a bit too on the nose.]

Lost an arm. A little more control on the detached parts, a little better stabilization when running. [The stabilization issue is almost certainly a matter of not having any practice in the suit or any suit, but it's keeping his mind focused on something they can do something about instead of what they can't.

He's trying for casual, but Tony's about to get another hug if he doesn't stop Bruce.]

I'm so glad you made it.

You were not supposed to lose an arm, that's where all it starts. This guy has the strongest joints of them all, and the most stable, how could you even-- You know what fine, I'll make it more of a tank. [Tony retorts immediately. It feels good, normal somehow, bantering about tech like this. It comes from the gut and not from the heart, if that makes sense. Even after all these years... it's like Bruce had never left.

But then he has to go for that hug. Usually Tony is would just freeze up and pat Bruce on the back; hugs are not for him. He didn't take the skill points for that. But this time, as he's standing there, his shoulders drop. He didn't even feel that they were tense. His arms come up to hang onto Bruce's shoulders. He's not glad he made it, he should have been gone instead of...]

I'm glad you stayed too. [He truly is, damn it.] It'd be hell of a ride without any brains around. So I'm- I'm very thankful. For that. Are you alright? Have you been eating well? Your greens too?

Hulk did a number on the arm before. I would have thought you'd have put some more work on it after that.

[Only Hulk was gone for two years. Maybe it wasn't a priority, ya think, Banner?

He's exhausted, terrified, freaked out, and so unspeakably grateful that Tony just hugs him back. Crawling back inside the Hulkbuster isn't an option, is it? Too bad. He's just going to have to go with taking some comfort with his friend.]

Who's had time to eat? [He reluctantly lets Tony go and takes a step back.] I can't wait for you to meet Shuri if you want brains. [Sucks to be effortlessly schooled by a teenager, so he'd like to see Tony enjoy-- What if she was part of the lost 50%? He loses some momentum and all of his smile because he just doesn't know.] If she's still around.

[Indeed, Banner. There have been... distractions to say the least. And Tony is really, really glad that you are back. His heart also breaks, finally seeing Bruce up close and witness how terrible he looks, no offense.]

Well, you look terrible, maybe you should've considered some blueberries. [But indeed, who has time to eat? Or sleep? Tony pockets his hands, looking over the remains of the 'Buster.] Shuri? [He may have heard that name somewhere, but the part about her may not being around just yet another kick. Jesus, just how many exactly is the half of the universe? And he could almost stop it... almost...] She is. She must be, because- because apparently, brains survive. Here's me, and you, so... [He motions with his hand, but he doesn't look at Bruce. Just at the suit. If he's concentrating on how to repair it, it will keep him sane for a while.]

But I met a cyborg. A real one. A 'she', actually.

You know how to make a guy feel good. [He's sore as hell, but he's alive, so sore, bruised, bloodied? None of them are all that important other than making sure no one is exposed to his blood.] Shuri's the king of Wakanda's sister. Did you know he's-- was enhanced? He was giving Rogers a run for his money out there.

[He keeps his eyes down on his shoes scuffing in the dirt before he twists around to look back toward the city.] Speaking of... I, uh... called Rogers. You going to stick around or do I have to get Thor to scruff you both?

That's me. [Tony smiles, but it's not a happy one, more like a wince.]

Huh. That's interesting. Now I very much like to meet her. Is she making suits too? [Anyone who can make tech that puts up with Captain America takes Tony's respect immediately.

Although he falls silent. His eyes are still on his suit, but he's seeing the phone in his hand. Even after everything that happened Steve promised to come and help when needed. And he did. But Tony is still not sure how to handle that issue at all.] Good call. I mean, literally too.

[He takes a shaky breath, scratching behind his ear. How is he even going to start on all this? His eyes find their way back to Bruce.] Will you stick around?

[No one is happy. No one. They both know that with the highest stakes in the universe in their hands, they weren't enough.]

I don't know, but she had some observations on how we constructed Vision's neural network that pulled the rug out from under my feet.

[He comes back to put a hand on Tony's arm, just trying to pull his attention away from yet another ruined suit.] I didn't leave in the first place. Come on, we both need... I don't know. Blueberries? Can't get those here.

[Observations? About Vision's neural network?! That thing was enough to keep Tony on his toes and someone just observes it? Tony sighs. That excitement in his chest about a fellow genius will always be welcomed. He really hopes this Shuri is still around and that they can meet in person, so she can tell him all about her work.

So this is what hope does to people. Hope makes them go to get their ass kicked again and again, he wonders. Tony hates hope and almost glad he seems to be abandoning it.

The touch catches him off guard.]

And you didn't contact me. [With both Steve and Bruce out of the picture... it's been pretty difficult. Almost lonely. It's good they are back... but at what cost? He feels his leftover strength leaving him.] What I need... is a drink. Without ice. The whole bottle. So, back to the compound? Is it still intact?

[Hope's a bitch, Tony. Take it from a guy who's been smacked in the face by hope more than once. Don't go Bruce's route; the universe has lost enough people as it is.]

I wasn't running the show for most of the past two years. [He takes his hand back and uses it to rub his forehead. That reinforced vibranium wall that he spent years building in his head between him and Hulk feel like it's little more than sticks and spit at this point.] Most of the fighting was over here; the compound's still standing as far as I know, but if that's where you want to go for a drink that's going to take some of us longer than others to get there.

[He doesn't wait for Tony to join him, just sucks in a breath and lets it out in a heavy sigh before he starts trudging back toward the city.]

((ooc: oh god I re-read some of my tags from last night and they were terrible, I'm so sorry.))

You were the 'other guy' for two years? Is that even-- How's that possible? [Losing control for. Two. Years. It baffles Tony. He can't even imagine how that would feel. Wait, no, he can. He's lost control too many times in his life. But for two years? Two years?

He doesn't follow Bruce right away, but reaches for his earpiece to call FRIDAY for a flight. Because of course Tony has helicopters on auto-pilot and he hopes they are not too damaged to pick them up. He hurries up to fall in step with Bruce, his hand involuntarily finds a way on his back. Damn, Tony is glad Bruce is still here, alive under his palm unlike some others.]

We're gonna be one of the firsts then, I arranged a ride. [He squeezes Bruce's shoulder a little, before letting go.] Or you'd rather walk?

Meanwhile, I need details of those two years. And I need them now, while my blood alcohol levels are low. Talk to me, Banner. [Just talk to him, just a little, until this screaming goes away. God, this must be how Bruce feel like all the time.]

[ooc: Dude, seriously not a problem. Sorry for dropping out here. I got off work and said, "I'll take a nap," and woke up at midnight, seven hours later.]

I'd tell you to ask him, but he's on strike. [It doesn't baffle Bruce, it terrifies him. He doesn't even know where to begin slotting it in with his Hulk dysfunction, how he remembered Thanos, or... well, pretty much anything in his life just that moment.

He's actually kind of grateful for the weight of Tony's hand as an anchor because just losing his shit does seem like it could be a viable option. Then it's gone and he's just going to have to figure it out for himself, but what else is new?]

A ride's good, but I can only tell you so much about the past two years. Banner no estaba en casa. I don't even know how he got off planet, but he's spent the last two years or so on a planet called Sakaar. It's like the literal dumping ground of the universe.

[He doesn't really want to talk about what Hulk did, but amazingly, they're surrounded by enough worse that it's the least of evils if if keeps them both from dwelling on how they failed and what it cost every single person alive everywhere.]

((ooc: It's okay, naps are everything! ))

You know what, I will. I'll ask him. I have a lot to ask that asshole. [Because, the Hulk is still a part of Banner. If there is something wrong with it, then something is wrong with Bruce. And Tony will do everything in his power to find out what...

He doesn't want to let go either, but if he holds on, they can't move forward. Even if Tony feels that this 'moving forward' is not him anymore, it's some kind of auto-pilot. He's not entirely here anymore, just like Bruce... but maybe he can be still saved.]

On a different planet? To a planet that's- that's a dumpsite? For real? No wonder I couldn't find you for the life of me, you son of a bitch. [He curses under his breath. He tried to find Bruce, he really did. But even Tony Stark can scan the whole of the universe... Tony licks his lips and looks ahead, seeing the battlefield. And just realizing that they are, in fact, in Wakanda. He stops in his tracks, eying the city in the distance. Oh... yes maybe FRIDAY even mentioned something like that. Such a silly detail to look over and yet Tony's limbs go cold.] Oh. I'm afraid my rides may take a, uh, few hours... So uh, were there aliens, like... I don't know, with bug like eyes or skin like stone or somethin'?

Be my guest. Only thing he's said to me is no. [Which... is pretty damned weird as it is.] If he comes out to talk to you, have Thor punch him in the nose for me.

[He shoots Tony a look for being called a son of a bitch. Seriously, save it for Hulk. Bruce probably would have run away, but at least he would have stayed on Earth.]

On Sakaar you mean? I - me, Bruce - I wasn't there for even a whole day, but yeah, there were all kinds of aliens. Buggy ones, humanoid ones with no faces, a few different kinds that looked pretty human.

[The hill that stretches ahead of them is... daunting to consider walking, but he can't justify taking up space in any of the vehicles that have landed to tend to the wounded survivors. There aren't nearly as many of them as there should be, but there aren't nearly as many people, period, as there should be.]

Only after me, Banner. [Yes Tony just threatened to punch the Hulk too, what about that huh. Huh... Tony shakes his head. He'd lost his mind, hadn't he.

He closes his eyes for a moment. He can't even imagine being on a different planet, all alone and-- wait no. He can.

Watching the few that left, Tony feels the guilt again. That sticky, acidic things in his limbs, in his mind, telling him he shouldn't be here either. He also takes a mental note to check in on New York, but he's not ready for those news yet.]

Sounds exciting, we should visit there sometime. Maybe in the summer. When the weather is-- [A beat. Then he sighs again turning to Bruce, patting his chest with the back of his fingers.] Were you alone? Hm? Up there, at the Trash Planet? I mean, besides the vegetable.

[The image makes Bruce think of a chihuahua yapping at a great dane. That's worth a hint of a smile at least.] Might want to repair the 'buster first if you want him to notice.

[They can both hide behind banter a little longer. The world's still spinning, less half its population. Did the universal purge include all life? Or just sentient life? He flinched from thinking of it and wrapped his arms around his own torso in a self-protective, self-comforting hug.]

Vegetable? [He squints at Tony while he tries to pull up a recent cast of new acquaintances to see if any of them fit the description. Nothing seems to stick unless he's talking about that walking tree Bruce caught a glimpse or two of in the middle of hell coming to visit.] I don't know, man. I came to on Sakaar in the wreckange of the quinjet, wearing a Hulk-sized skirt, beads from a giant's Mardi Gras, with two years of my life missing. Thor was there, we stole a ship, went to Asgard, and the next thing I know I'm in New York scared shitless with a bunch of knowledge about Thanos in my head that I didn't learn directly.

And you really need to wear looser pants. I'm telling you, that much pressure on your junk isn't doing anyone any favors. [Non sequiter, what? It follows in Bruce's head, since they're talking Sakaar and clothes. Besides, the tangent keeps them away from Thanos for another minute or two.]

[Touché, Tony wonders. But at least some goal for the future is already set. Even if it's something as simple as repairing the Buster.]

The Hulk. [He helps with a sigh, throwing a hand up in defeat. He knows the rest of the story. So that's how they met with Thor, on that Trash Planet. The more hears about it, the more it sounds like some fever dream. Holy Jesus, Tony thought talking to Bruce will calm him, but--]

My pant- what's wrong with my pants-- I was jogging, it needs to be tight, alright? [Because being right about pants is much more urgent, than anything regarding Thanos. Not today. Except it's today.] Besides it compliments my figure, don't you think?

The Hulk's not exactly company. I've never even known we could talk before today. [For a very limited definition of the word, "talk" at least.] I yell at him, he tells me no. That's what we've got right now.

[He honestly hasn't noticed what Tony's wearing up until now. He twists a little to look him over and shakes his head.] Not those. The only clothes on the quinjet were yours, and I'm telling you, I spent more time picking them out of my crotch than I did planning a daring escape from a 'no one leaves' planet where the main form of entertainment for the population is gladiatorial death matches.

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