kindacatchy | Post IW shenanigans

[Tony doesn't know yet that JARVIS-- Vision is gone. Maybe he knows, though, somewhere deep down, but not acknowledging it just yet.]

You already had an input on the crotch situation and I will put it where is belongs. [Pointed look.]

Alright, alright, it wasn't cool. Nothing about it was cool. [He agrees, shaking his arms a bit to warm them up for some reason.

And then Bruce has to mention Ultron. It's not yesterday for Tony, but he is thinking about it every. day. It's another of his mistakes. But he had years to process that experience, to let it eat away at his already butchered soul. While Bruce may just start on that.] I'm sorry, buddy. I wish I could've... somehow reach you and...

[A shaky breath as he looks around again, searching for the words to say. But the world is suddenly so huge and he is so small. How could he ever help anyone.]... work something out. Help you. [Save you.]

[Alright, now he really wants that drink.]

[Denial isn't necessarily always a bad thing. Sometimes it's all that stands between a guy and just... breaking. Says the guy whose own issues came together and gave themselves a name and started living an independent life in the past couple of years.]

Sakaar isn't on you. [He grips the back of his own neck and can feel the ache there, part whiplash from getting tossed around in the Hulkbuster, part tension and fear. He wants to tell Tony that maybe Hulk needed to be on Sakaar for Thor and Asgard, but if he says that, then he has to look at the memories - Hulk's memories - he has of Asgard's destruction and everything after that.]

Talk to me. Tell me something new. What's with this? [He taps the center of his chest and indicates the glowing triangle on Tony's chest.]

Sakaar wouldn't have happened if not for Ultron. And Ultron is on me. [Tony snaps, but immediately tries to collect himself. This is not the time... not the time. But then when is the time?

He looks down at his chest, his breath coming short.]

Oh, this? Protection. For me, for the others. I mean, I don't need it like in the past, it's just an attachment... it was always there, so I figured I'll put it back. Where else could it be? [He clears his throat. Is he rambling? He may be.] It stores the nanobots for the suit. But I can't show you cuz- cuz the suit is gone, it's- it was destroyed when-- back at the... [He needs to sit down, just a few minutes until he catches his breath, until all this passes. Damn, it has been such a long time since a panic attack.] At the evil planet with the... things... there...

Ultron is on us. Both of us. [And that's enough said about that for now. They aren't going to see which of them takes the gold in the Guilt Olympics. It's a talk that needs to be had, but not now, not today. They'd failed bigger than just Ultron today and if they stop to embrace that guilt, if they don't keep moving, the quicksand's going to pull them both under.]

Nanobots, huh? [He can see that Tony's made the mistake of stopping and now he's sinking... It's his turn to put a hand on Tony's back, sit down next to him and offer an anchorage point.] Talk to me about nanobots. When did you get them working? How long until you can manufacture replacements?

[He draws in a deep breath, loudly and deliberately and lets it out slowly - a reminder to Tony to do the same. Breathe, Tony, and be grateful that it isn't Thor with you now or you'd probably be hearing about how the sun is going down.] How's the integration with FRIDAY's AI?

[He really wants a meltdown of his own, but he's already had his back in New York and they're one per customer.]

[No, Vision is, Tony wants to say, but he can't. He is busy putting air in his lungs.]

Not long ago. I started the tech a whole ago, but I needed- I got some intel from- from Wakanda, they helped me with the bots, about the how's and the what's. But the rest was all me- I- I have a few backups, I could come up with another few suits in a few days... [He nods and takes his own breath again, slow and just like the taught him. The hand on his back is a surprise to feel reassuring; usually Tony doesn't like people touching him when he's in a state like this. He's concentrating on a spot near Bruce's feet as he's breathing and talking.]

That took me the longest time, it's- it's trickier with nanobots. The network-- it's more complicated. But I figured it out and you're gonna love it.

[He's calming down, but it's all coming back to him. The war, the losses... how are they going to go on after this?]

Wonder if Wakanda's up for a physicist exchange program. [Keep it inane. Keep it light. Don't look in the dark places. That's advice they can both use.]

The distributed data syncing would be a challenge working across that kind of scale. [He really is interested. Thinking about seeing the specs might be his happy place for a while as they both try to pull themselves together enough to be functional.] Can't afford data lag between your foot and shoulder. There'd better be video of your first prototype runs. I need a laugh.

[Now that Tony's pulling back, finding a little bit of solid ground to stand on, Bruce takes his hand back, tangles his fingers together in front of him while he leans his forearms on his bent knees.]

Nat's blonde now. [Light and inane, there you go.]

All you gotta do is ask, they- they are friendly now. [Tony swallows to wet his dry throat. Yes, keep it together, keep it light.]

I kept some, but only for your entertainment-- if I- if I see them on someone's phone again that's the last time I showed you anything. [Oh it was a beautiful struggle. Pepper called it relapse though.

Tony is still staring at the ground, feeling the weight of that empty shell on his chest.]

Blonde's in this year. [He mutters without giving it more thought. So talk. Such light. He thinks about Steve for a moment. He is also blonde. Or...] They've switched with Steve? Maybe he's red now?

Yeah, I might just do that. [Apparently Wakanda doesn't have a problem with harboring fugitives from the Accords, so there is that. Bruce has already concluded that he and the Accords aren't happening.]

Look, just because I sent Nat video - one time - of you trying to sing Margaritaville at karaoke doesn't mean I'd leak prototype vids.

[Maybe they can do the therapy session the way Tony had unloaded after the Mandarin. Tony can spill his guts and Bruce can doze off about five minutes in. Tony gets to talk it out, Bruce gets some sleep - win/win. He can't just tell Tony to do what Bruce does and repress, repress, repress.

He's about ready to just lie down right here and go to sleep. There are going to be nightmares and there are going to be at least two years' worth of flashbacks, and contemplating those have him straightening and scrubbing his hands over scruffy cheeks. He'll just drink a lot of coffee for now.]

Steve's still blond. He's got a beard now and there's no more red, white, and blue, but he's still blond.

It's a nice place. Warm. Green fields. High-end lab. You'd love it here. [It's better than prison after all. Tony already knows Bruce is so not going to his way with the Accords, and he will not stop and argue about it. Not now, not like this.]

That one time was enough to violate my trust, Banner, don't let me down again. [It's not entirely about the prototype vids, but Tony can't afford another mess up. He has a cool image to maintain.

Tony is also terribly tired. He needs a doctor and... he's not sure what he needs anymore. He turns to look at Bruce as he's talking about Steve. Huh, with a beard. But without the uniform. Tony knows they will meet and he will comment on the beard. But other than that, he doesn't know. But he's not saying anything. He's a master of small talk and now, he has nothing.]

What are we going to do now, Bruce?

I've seen the lab. They've done one hell of a job keeping their secret until now. I'm telling you, Tony, you should have seen their shield in action. It was--

[This is fight talk, and he stops himself before it can go any farther, raising both hands to call a halt and redirect.]

It was.

[He's just not going to address letting Tony down. Not going to talk about the battle. Not going to let the pain of his friends' estrangement in. Instead he stands up with a groan of complaint for the aches that have taken time to settle in, then offers Tony a hand up.]

We're going to go up to that city. We're going to take care of what we can right here and now - food, water, medical care - and then... [He's out of certainty, out of steam, out of everything but a universe's worth of fatigue hanging over his head. He shakes his head, looking tired and lost.] I don't know, but maybe we'll be able to see it more clearly after we get the first part out of the way.

[As Bruce stops himself, Tony lets out a soft laugh. Yes, not going there. They are not ready, neither of them. Not now, or ever... 'It was' indeed.]

You're right. We're the Avengers, we should work for our living.

[He slowly reaches for his earpiece to inform FRIDAY of some updates in regards of their plans. Tony is sure that Wakanda will be alright, but... he will help anyway. At least he can do that. He is sure that there are drinks here too.

Tony sighs then, turning his attention back to Banner. He's sure that he's looking in a kind of mirror. Before he himself realizes it he reaches out for him again, sliding an arm around his shoulders and pulling Bruce close as they are sitting there.]

Does that mean I get two years of back pay?

[The arm around his shoulders startles him enough to stiffen before he slumps, letting a little of his weight lean against Tony. Anyone who isn't physically, emotionally, and spiritually exhausted just then hasn't been paying attention.]

I wonder if Wakanda has pizza. [There's this pizza joint in New York, not far from the tower... He gets as far as wondering if the owner made it or not and his expression starts to crumple. He could break now, just give up, follow Hulk's lead.

He rejects that idea almost before it finishes forming. He might spend the rest of his life trying to undo what happened here, but he's going to keep trying. He takes a deep breath, puts an arm around Tony's back to steady himself, and gets it all shoved down. He isn't breaking now, and neither is Tony; they don't have that luxury.] The last thing I ate was on Sakaar in a Valkyrie's apartment with Loki chained up in the living room.

[Come on Tony, let that absurdity keep you distracted while they get moving again.]

I'll give you some if you wouldn't reject it. [Tony will always try to support Banner's research after all.

Pizza, Tony's mind repeats, but his body is not on board with that plan. He knows he will have to eat eventually, but the idea right now is repulsive. Everything is repulsive to him. Why do anything, when half the goddamn world is dead and not coming back? He had the gauntlet in his hands, he had a plan and it was working until it didn't...]

If you want I'll send for pizza, straight from New York. I know a place. [His hands fist in Banner's shirt as he's trying to stand up, wobbly and barely holding onto his own sanity.] So now Valkyries are real too? And Loki should really consider being more private with his preferences.

[His tone is without passion, without any indication he cares what comes out of his mouth. Tony seeks the distance, starting to walk before he would stop again, before another attack claims him again.]

[That's worth the smallest of smiles. Two years gone and Tony's still just... Tony.]

What's the point in traveling to exotic new places if you don't see their take on hometown favorites? I want Wakandan pizza. [No he doesn't, but if he finds out that he can't have the New York pizza he wants because the pizza place's staff are dust, that honestly might be the straw that breaks the camel's back.

He hangs onto Tony as they both lever themselves up as though it takes two of them to manage something as hard as standing. Maybe it does, but they get up and they start walking and this is what they've got, including Bruce not mentioning that he thinks Loki's dead and he doesn't know about the fate of the last Valkyrie. It's not that Tony's going to care about Loki, but Thor... He throws out another distraction, anything just to keep them both putting one foot in front of the other.]

I think Hulk has a crush on her.

At this point, I'm afraid their pizzas are way better than in New York. Do you think they have Wakandan shawarma? [Tony wouldn't be surprised about either of those things. In fact nothing can surprise him anymore when it comes to Wakanda.

He walks. They walk, and Tony just can't let go, no matter how it hurts his arm and how awkward it is. He's gonna walk, but he has to feel someone alive in his touch. He has to know that he is awake and this is not a dream, despite its nightmarish qualities.]

The Hulk-- [Excuse him, he has to process that. He frowns, shaking his head for a moment.] Hulk... has a crush. On a Valkyrie. Am I having a stroke?

I think they have Wakandan whatever the hell they want to have. Seriously, this place is a trip.

[Success at least in getting Tony a little more into the here and now. It's a little embarrassing for Bruce, but hey, embarrassment is also a better feeling than the ones that have been weighing them both down.

He ducks his head a little, adjusts how he's hanging on to Tony to try to get a knot out of his shoulder, and snorts silently.] You know how I never could remember what happened with the other guy while he was driving? That's kind of... changed. It started on Sakaar when I met her for the first time and it felt like we'd known each other for years.

Maybe you have a crush on her, Banner. I know I'd have, I mean, a Valkyrie. Who wouldn't hit that? [Tony speaks nonsense, but he's thinking about the fact that... before Hulk and Bruce was somehow the same entity. Right now, what Bruce implies, that they starting to be two separate beings? And sharing memories?

And a Valkyrie?! REALLY? Of course there's Thor and Loki, and all that Norse god thing, but Tony is still baffled. He should be used fairy tales being real by now, but... apparently not entirely.

It's good, talking about meaningless things. It's good listening to a voice, that doesn't ask him anything, or demands anything, or yells anything. Just speaks to him, acknowledges him and understands him in a way.]

Man, Hulk is living the life, isn't he?

Pretty sure she'd break me. [Not that it wouldn't be a glorious way to go, but he's not looking for a threesome - him, her, and Hulk.]

Since I hit New York [Literally.] It's more than just flashes or leaking emotions getting through the wall. [They finally reach the crest of the hill, and it's about damn time, but there's more walking ahead of them. He says nothing while he summons the wherewithal to keep walking and talk at the same time.]

I have some clear memories. [Thanos in particular, but there are others, and he's more willing to talk about those than lead Tony back to that disaster.] He trained for the arena with her. Think about it - Hulk trained to fight with a Valkyrie.

Break you heart, you mean. She's too good for you. [Tony can't help to add. Actually, it's the other way around, Bruce is too good for anyone, he must be protected.]

[From here, all of Wakanda can be seen. It's still a beautiful place, the city is still shining. But the damage that happened is far greater than the messed up battlefield. There are bodies here and there, but Tony reminds himself that many more died today. If their bodies would be here too they won't be able to walk... Cool, back to Valkyries.]

He trained. The Hulk. For the arena. [On a dumpsite planet. For gladiator matches to the death. And Bruce is still here, which means Hulk won every single one of those fights. Which is obvious, of course, but. Wow. This is blowing his mind and almost feels guilty that he's not in his right mind for this. All this is amazing, and he's using it to put aside other issues that are trying to tear him down. Bruce, and even the Hulk, deserves better.]

What do you think it means, hm? That you have memories? Could it be some kind of control thing?

She's... [His eyes go distant, remembering seeing her in the white armor of the Valkyrie. She'd been magnificent, and he hopes against hope that she's out there somewhere, shepherding the last remnants of Asgard to a refuge. He doesn't say that, and he's wistful, smiling without feeling it.] ...kind of a mess.

[They can't stay here looking at the battlefield or wondering how many homes and beds are going to be empty in Wakanda tonight. What they can do is something he's practiced for years - put one foot in front of the other.] Come on.

[It's okay that Tony's using this to distract himself. It's better than okay. If Tony weren't seizing on this new aspect of Bruce's relationship with his greener half to keep his mind from eating itself a little longer, Bruce would have put it out there for nothing.]

I think it means that he's... [He shrugs and looks over at Tony, and there's a flash of fear as naked as any he's ever shown, even in his announcement of Thanos' coming.] He's becoming more of an individual. It used to be that how I felt about people influenced him - Betty, Nat, you... He knew me, knew how I felt about him, but it was all a one-way mirror where he could see me and I could only see my own reflection. That's not how it is now, at least not all the time.

[And Tony goes on as Bruce does. He follows him, his hand still holding his shirt with a grip that's cramping his fingers. He ignores the dropped weapons, the mud, the blood and other things they pass for his own sanity.

He's listening Bruce explain, looking back at him and seeing his expression. It alarms Tony too, eyes focusing more a bit. The Hulk becoming... someone, rather than something is indeed slightly problematic. Depending on where it would stop. How much all that evolves. Wait, that's it.]

He's... evolving. [Tony mutters.] Could that be? Is that possible?

I think he's growing up. He used to be a big, pissed off toddler; now he's a big, pissed off, scared kindergartner.

[And that fear is a feedback loop in his head - their head.]

He'd only ever really lost one fight, and he can probably write that one off because the Hulkbuster was still built to contain him and protect others, not destroy him. He spent two years in alien death matches and won every one. [Except Thor, but that still doesn't sound right to Bruce.]

Then he gets his ass handed to him. He has no idea how to deal with that, and like a schoolyard bully taking some licks of his own for the first time, he's tucked his tail between his legs and gone into hiding.

[You hear that, you asshole? You were needed and you ran away.

If Hulk can hear him, there's no sign. No roiling bite of anger in his head, no sudden burst of green across his skin. If the two-way mirror's really down, Hulk's gone somewhere where he doesn't have to look or listen, which kind of pisses Bruce off, but really, what else is new?]

So let me get this straight- [Tony holds up a hand, to try to sort all this out.] So, the Hulk, he's growing, okay that's fair- But he's starting to have fears? And he's sulking? He's also having some positive emotions, like, preference for a person. For a Valkyrie, but still, it's something.

You two have a lot to talk about. [He decides. A dangerous spark lights in his eyes.] We'll have to find a method to trigger him back to life. To face his problems, like adults. [Tony is being the biggest hypocrite here, but let's ignore that.]

Though, what if he's all grown up and wants to have his own room, hm?

It was bad enough with a monster in my head, but another person?

[He slows down, making sure that Tony's looking at him.] It's my head and he's a squatter. I don't want an engaging dialog; I want an eviction notice. Give me the Hulkbuster and I'll get by just fine without him.

Yeah, that's a completely different scenario. There's medication for-- [Tony snorts, his attention on the other as they slow down.]

It's yours. [He says that without missing a beat. But he gets what Bruce is saying. It seems there's also going to be an endgame for them too.] I can help in that. We can work something out. If that's what you want.

Post IW shenanigans

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